My Notes on Torero’s ‘What to do on a Date A to Z’ Video (RIP)

So Tom Torero took everything down, theory being that some uncalibrated guy in Scotland got arrested for aggressively hounding girls for their number and got 2 years jail time. WTF UK legal system. Also, why do your judges wear wigs?

These types of unfortunate events are why you must let girls go quickly if they’re not into it, which, in my experience, causes them to crack a smile – they recognize you are calibrated enough to let them go and leave them alone after their subtle IOD (or a not so subtle NYC IOD) and they are able to resume their life, with a touch of validation from your tease/compliment. Maybe next time you or someone else opens them they will give you their number or they’ll be in a talkative mood. Leave the girl better than you found her.

Anyway, Tom (whom Nash has called out as being sneaky) freaked out and took everything down. I have no idea how aggressive the journalists and law enforcement and other totalitarian elements have become in Britain because of Brexit or Bojo, so it may have been the right move for him, but it was a loss for the community.

As I posted recently, his date video (RIP) was really helpful when I was learning. Since it is no longer available, as someone commented, I thought I would post my notes from the video here, which is not far off from a transcript… …formatting isn’t perfect because I have better things to do.

The basic premise is there is a clock. Each number on the clock is either red (pull and escalate) or blue (push and lean back), and you go in sequence. If you have multiple dates, you are winding back the clock sometimes.

1 o’clock  blue

walk to venue 1

  • Let’s go,
  • ask how her day was,
  • tell how your day was,
  • sights on the street.
  • neutral.

2 oclock red

venue 1 well lit, coffee shop, pub, sports bar

spike in venue 1, flirty upon entry

  • o Can I trust you? 
  • o Good team player? 
  • o Good Future wife? 
  • o Give her a job. Find best seat. Best view. Send her off to find seats. 
  • o Text her as she walks off, nice ass.

3oclock blue 

about you and about her, giving rapport 

  • o where she lives, 
  • o where she is working right now, 
  • o what you do, 
  • o a little about who you are, 
  • o where she is from
  • o vibing making her feel comfortable, comfort rapport, not spiking
  • o no comfort quicksand

After about 30 minutes bounce to venue 2.

4 o’clock red

Bounce to Venue 2

  • o Let’s Go
  • o Where are we going
  • o We’re going to Paris
  • o We’re going to Vegas to lose all our money
  • o What are you doing? Just looking at your legs
  • o Close to next venue. Closeish to first venue.
  • o Sofa and couches, 90 degrees or next to each other. 
  • o Cool ambient music. Cocktails. Funky like a coffee shop.

5 o’clock  blue rapport – bigger topics, 

  • o hopes and dreams, 
  • o phobias, 
  • o what she is going to do in the future,  
  • o weird little thing about her, 
  • o what she wanted to be, 
  • o ends with a rooted base where you feel like you are on the same team

6 o’clock red spike – start to move to seduction bubble. Spiking physically

  • o talk fitness, 
  • o tattoos rings, 
  • o touch legs, 
  • o comment about her eyes, legs distracting you, 
  • o do you play a musical instrument, hand sizes,
  • o what is something I’d never guess about you? 
  • o suntans, 
  • o tattoos, 
  • o necklace, earrings, rings,
  • o hair, 
  • o toned body or what you like about her, 
  • o what do you like about me, 
  • o what you find attractive about her. 
  • o You smile a lot, is it possible for you to not smile for 10 seconds?
  • o As you count, you eye fuck. Gets to 3-4 and giggles. Slap wrist. No no no. Try again.
  • o The eye contact and touch creates an intimacy.

7o’clock Blue Chill, give some space, let her spike it up or ask about me, sexy silence.

  • Lean back,
  • Look away,
  • Go to the bathroom,
  • Let her start to invest, or spike it up or ask about me.
  • Leave the sexy silence.
  • Exit at a high point if possible

8 o’clock red

Kiss: matters that you go for it, show intent, and if get knocked back, no butthurt

  • o Vibe should have escalated, flirting and touching.
  • o Floppy test – push her away, bring her in, give her a shoulder rub.
  • o Playing little games
  • o Drive by kisses – Eskimo kisses,
  • o Whisper in her ear, getting really close to her and pulling away.
  • o I’m going to keep trying. I think you’re attractive.
  • o My job to try, your job to resist, I understand, going to keep trying. Going to go to the bathroom, will try again. 
  • o Not a long term provider boyfriend that is going to wait.
  • o You find her physically attractive and are not ashamed to say so.

9 o’clock blue

  • o courage and leading her to bounce home chill out 
  • o out of the bar venue, where are we going?
  • o have something back at your place to encourage her to come
  • o One more drink at mine, music, photos, films
  • o Finish bottle of wine back at mine,
  • o Open door to taxi, 
  • o Make sure to tell her where you are going, not a bar, not disneyland, seed pull
  • o Chill out – not keen or eager or twitchy or eager. Not a big deal

10 o’clock red spike at home

  • o Don’t stay and let vibe crash
  • o Can’t just stand in the kitchen or sit on the sofa and let the vibe crash to bog of comfort and rapport
  • o Shoes off, pour some drinks or make some tea
  • o Take her legs and spike across yours, bring her in. Watch a movie.
  • o Starting to give her a massage, start a kiss a little bit.
  • o On off on off. Push and pull. Calibration is red vs blue
  • o Letting her know back at yours that its on.
  • o If you’re lucky and it’s super on she jumps your bones. 
  • o Usually the girl is more nervous and doesn’t want to appear like she’s too easy. 

She’s going to say things like

  • o “I don’t normally do this”
  • o “Maybe I should go”
  • Good response: Cool, I understand, no worries
  • o take my laptop 
  • o take her by the hand, 
  • o let’s go in here, it’s more comfortable

11 o’clock – blue chill on bed

  • o back off once she’s in the bedroom
  • o often on the bed and she’s on the chair opposite
  • o or he’s leaning back and she’s on the corner of the bed
  • o big mistake would be to go 100 miles an hour like a horny teenager
  • o chill out watch a bit of the movie, drink some wine set the mood, look at some photos
  • o feel like there is a calm atmosphere, come and join me, take her hand and bring her over, or sit her on your lap, sit her next to me,
  • o then a little bit more kissing, on off on off, and reaching the magical 12 o’clock

12 o’clock – red sexy time

self explanatory

  • If she stops the clock at 11:00 or 11:30, set up a date, cooking, DVD, etc.
  • Rollback the clock for additional dates,
  • meet up, go for a walk,
  • following dates is drinks and back to yours.
  • Generally don’t want to wait for 3 dates.

Yup. Europe is Easier.

Yup. Europe is Easier.

So I did a trip to Europe. Up early due to Jet Lag. Figure I’ll write it up.

Purpose of the trip for me was not actually to get +1s (though I was sure going to try) though I think I could have if I had stayed longer in each city. The purpose of this trip was to gain perspective and to compare New York City to several large European cities and see if New York is actually a more challenging city in which to do Daygame. I haven’t met anyone that can provide actual experience or data – but everyone on twitter seems to have an opinion. I had to figure it out for myself. The European daygamers don’t often come to New York – it’s further away, very expensive, and full of feminists.

I have the means and skills to move to Europe (if you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere), so I took this trip pretty seriously as a survey and scouting mission.

Paris

I started in Paris. Paris is a cheap flight hub from New York. My inbound flight was $150. Bargain.

Immediately I noticed I would get more IOIs than in New York. I was walking around the center of the city, high foot traffic areas. Got a few phone numbers, from a French art student and a Spanish economics student. Some of the girls I stopped turned out to be Russian speaking – but they had boyfriends or husbands, as pretty K-selected girls often do.

I had closed a French girl earlier this year in New York, and she lived in Paris, so I thought I would try to visit her. Of course as soon as I booked my tickets, she told me her boyfriend is moving into her apartment the weekend I would arrive. Hmmpf. We met for coffee during my trip and she told me she hooked up with another guy over the summer and then decided to be exclusive to her boyfriend (!). She dropped some validation lines about how she is super happy to see me and how I make her feel good. This just felt like a line for orbiters or chumps, a verbal tip. I must have given her too much attention. Counterpoint: she was talking to me as a lover – telling me about her provider strategy and asking for advice. This is something I read about in Zan Perrion’s Alabaster girl – girls he was a lover to would often ask for advice about their love life while in bed with him (she and I had talked about her relationship with her boyfriend after the last time we had sex). She’s likely more broken than I had realized, not going to spend more time on her, but to keep open the possibility of player pension dividends, I told her to come have fun with me if this relationship thing she’s trying doesn’t work out. She wanted to meet me at a cafe once more on the morning I was going to leave, and I said I would try if I woke up and then didn’t show – I went to a museum instead and posted an instagram story about it. Felt like the right thing to do.

I had also contacted two leads I met in New York who lived in Paris. One of them was in a different country on business, but was very responsive (despite not hearing from me for 2 months) and wanted to meet the next time I was in Paris. The other lead I had taken on a coffee date in New York before she disappeared. This was a Russian speaking girl. She was surprised to hear from me but very down to come out. Hard frame battle ensued over the course of two drinks, she was telling me some things about how motivated she was to achieve some goals (masculine vibe blah blah blah) and I qualified her on her intensity and found a playful way to make fun of her which she LOVED. She wasn’t clearly accepting my verbal escalation but she wasn’t leaving, and was complying. I went for a kiss about halfway through the second drink, got rejected but held my frame that it was important that I tried and that she knew I tried. We then went for a walk along the river, she told me some things and we started kissing. After a little bit she ran away into an Uber, claiming she had to get up for class in the morning.

The next day I suggested we keep it going, she agreed, I suggested cooking at her place, and she started to get squirrelly after that telling me she had a class project and would let me know if she could make it. I let it go from there.

My airbnb was tiny but in a very central location, I didn’t quite feel confident pulling here there, but I think my peak opportunity to pull was after our first proper kiss along the Seine. That was the right time to try and invite her in.

After 2 days had a few leads and some girls responding over text, but I was only in Paris for a few days, and didn’t have much time to work. Saw one Daygamer on the street – he was a French speaking African and had a backpack on and was approaching posh looking French girls, didn’t seem to have much calibration or luck. I did an approach and he walked by, but I’m not sure he recognized what I was doing.

Warsaw

I arrived in the afternoon, and Thomas Crown was already here. He had told me roughly the area to try day gaming, and so I walked around on my own. We met up later after he had been on a date and did another walk around together. While I was in a shop he opened a girl, she was weird and squirrelly, when I came out of the shop he was just winding it down with her and some polish street promoter started talking to her, so I entered to chat with TC and give some social proof. Well the promoter guy runs off, and TC decides to go into the shop and I continue the conversation with her. She was still squirrelly, not revealing the country where she was from, and somehow TC comes back and invites her into his place, and I eject to go put my shopping in my apartment (which by chance was 2 doors down from TC). He said it didn’t really go anywhere and she was a strange girl. Interesting winging experience my first night. 

I got some IOIs in Poland. Not as many as in Paris. I approached often without getting an IOI. I have been told in the US that I look Polish, so that could also be why I didn’t get as many IOIs, its possible I am not exotic or polarizing enough. The girls were walking slower and would often stop. I did have a girl leave mid set, without saying a word when her friend showed up. That has never happened to me before. My imagined story is that she had a boyfriend and didn’t want the news to get back to him that she was talking to a handsome stranger in the street. Who knows?

The next day, I walked along the main Daygame route and did a few approaches, girls were stopping, we would chat for a few minutes and then inevitably a boyfriend would be mentioned. This was a common pattern – a K-select country. I asked them all how they met – no one met online. Anyway, TC joined later in the afternoon, and one of my first approaches after he joined turned into an instadate. A 24 year old Russian (of course) lawyer that I later found out was a gymnast. I took her for coffee, her English wasn’t that strong so we started to rely on google translate. This was my first real google translate date, ever. As I was talking into the phone with the voice recognition I would stare into her eyes – it seemed to get a good response – she liked the voice and eye contact and the mystery of what I was trying to say which would soon be revealed. I found out she had been on a trip with a guy and broke it off with him in the middle of a trip (a good and bad sign), we then went to a tourist site together (she paid for our tickets), and I got some leading and playful vibes going. She joined me for a drink, and this is where she really started asking me questions about myself. It was going well, then it took a while to pay for the drinks (customer service in Poland, not so good), and I could feel the buying temperature had dropped a little bit. I bounced her to another bar nearby, and the buying temperature dropped more. She asked me how old I was. I didn’t lie. Probably should have. We agreed to meet the next day and she “ran off to meet friends” at 9PM, which I didn’t really believe – it felt like a false curfew. She left my WhatsApp ping the next day unread. In hindsight, I should have tried for a bounce to my apartment for tea as soon as we left the first drink place. TC was inspired by my instadate and went out and got a gutter game close. We got pizza later that night and debriefed. TC is a solid dude. 

Anyway, I did some more approaches the next day, lots of girls with boyfriends. No luck, no numbers. Met up with TC and Mr R (who lives in Poland) and walked around some. 

The next day was my last day (again just in town for a few days), and I was hell bent on making something happen (Never Ever Give Up), and I ended up on an instantdate with a Ukranian girl who was on her way to see the Joker movie. Determined in about 40 minutes that she was a timewaster and she wasn’t accepting any verbal escalation, got a number from a Ukrainian girl claiming to be a model (I made fun of her for that) but couldn’t get her out, and then I met a Polish girl in her 30’s and idated her to a bar nearby (same one I took the Russian to the day before, and the waitress totally recognized me). We ended up kissing in front of my airbnb, but she wouldn’t come in. I walked her to her hotel (to try and get invited in, and it didn’t happen). 

Vienna

The girls in Austria liked me. Quite a few of them commented on being approached (this never happens, thank you for approaching, you’re very brave, Austrian men would never do this). I hit the major shopping and tourist streets for a few days and got some IOIs. I got much better at recognizing IOIs. I was surprised that I would get a lot of IOIs from Russian girls with their families. 95% of the girls stopped in Vienna. The ones that didn’t told me they didn’t speak English. 20% of what I stopped was Russian speaking. Saw no daygamers my entire time there. I got a number from a Hungarian student, a blonde Italian student, an Austrian, (all of whom responded enthusiastically but didn’t come out – this was the first week of school) and went on an idate with another Austrian – she was very compliant and into it (and texted me first) and I think I could have closed if I had a few more days to run game. I met some girls that I probably would have gotten a number from if I were there longer. I met plenty of girls with boyfriends, they were still great to talk to, and none of them met online. I plan to long game the girls I met in Vienna. I doubt it’s a magic place, but part of this Daygame discovery journey is to figure out parts of the world where girls like you and your look. I think Austria might very well be one of those places for me. Cost of living is about half of New York, the marriage laws are favorable to men vs the anglo/commonwealth countries. Central European girls also seem to want to have kids, unlike American women who just want a dog baby.

I also spent a day in Bratislava, Slovakia since it is so close to Vienna, Austria. It was a waste of time. Small city center and a nice shopping mall. The mall was where I had the most luck. Did a few approaches but it didn’t go anywhere.

Conclusions

Paris was comparable to New York in terms of quality – 7’s with some 8’s and 9’s that turned out to be Russian. It was also around the fashion week time, so there were plenty of models running around. Volume was lower though due to lower population density. English levels were higher than I expected. Paris was clean and I felt pretty safe.

Poland average was somewhere between 7 and 7.5. Better than Prague (where in my opinion the average was between 6.75 and 7.25 if we are splitting hairs). Volume was lower and lots of girls had boyfriends (as one would expect of pretty girls in a k-selected country). Prettiest girls I approached in Poland turned out to be Russian or Ukranian. English levels were higher than I expected. Poland was clean, safe, cheap and the busses ran on time.

Austria average was similar to Poland between 7 and 7.5, maybe just a hair lower because I have a slight preference for the slimmer profile of girls of Poland, but I seemed to get a warmer response from Austrian girls and the girls living in Austria, which surprised me. They also seemed more musical and artistic. English levels were very high. Austria was clean and safe and the public transit was great. Architecture is fantastic. This is my favorite city so far.

In all 3 countries I visited this trip (and Prague too from an earlier trip this year) the girls walk slower and stop easier but the population density is lower than Manhattan, and thus the possible approach volume is lower.

Europe *is* easier. Sample size for this trip: 80 approaches, 10 numbers, 5 dates -> 3 bungled pull attempts. I’m still working on my calibration for pulling, and I learned about recognizing the high point of the date and trying to escalate at that point. I know it sounds obvious, but I am having to re-learn and rebuild this part of my game. Losing some hot girls is always a powerful learning experience that gets burned into your memory.

It makes sense that the London Daygame model was invented in Europe, it would have taken significantly more energy to develop it in New York (and Paul Janka is probably the only innovator we really had over here).

I might do another jaunt or two, or I might just up and move to Europe in a few months – I have to see how a few business things shake out.