Year 3: Runner’s Daygame Message

I started approaching in August 2017. I’ve been at this thing called Daygame for 3 years. It’s been a great experience, and I’m excited for the next few years.

TLDR

  • Gray man anonymity is important to me. Fuck you Twitter.
  • Do 5 approaches a day to climb the daygame learning curve. Be creative or wait until after Covid-19 passes to make progress.
  • 1 in 10 is a fine yield of numbers to approaches.
  • Daygame can be a strong signal of positive psychological feedback, much better than the noisy signal of online game or night game.

Gray Man

I’ve been purposely vague about myself on this blog and on my Twitter account. I have a lot of good things going for me – and I could probably handle getting doxxed or even being public about it, but I just don’t want to spend the energy to deal with that. Especially with the weird political energy going on in the US right now. Not everyone has studied information theory, but if you know someone’s zip code, birthday, and gender, you have enough information to have a good chance of identifying them. Readers know my city and my gender which is about 10 bits of information vs the 33 bits of information. Thankfully NYC has a lot of zip codes. I have been careful to not reveal my age or too much information about my career and have been operating in the style of gray man.

Also, use a burner phone for Twitter and no email. I don’t think my contact page, if it exists, even works on this website and I don’t care.

As part of trying to stay under the radar, I don’t want to sell anything online, I don’t want to teach game (it is a truly thankless job), and I claim to want to stick to trusted networks and avoid too much contact with daygamers (and even more so the various flavors of wannabe daygamers online and their weird energy, and the people who do other types of game and have highly variable opinions about daygame) though in practice I am curious about people and pretty open to meeting new people. I do have a strict rule that I must see someone approach at least once to continue hanging out with them; it’s a good filter. Vibe also matters. I prefer to meet up with people that are referrals of people I have met, or people that I encounter on the street (because they are actually approaching!). I met @RoyWalkerPUA and @ThomasCrownPUA via introductions from @DaysofGame_com. I spotted @DaygameBreeze on the street when he approached and number closed a girl I was about to approach (she was hot) and he approached me when I was out with @MrVDaygame (who @DaysOfGame_com encouraged me to meet up with, and I’m glad he did). I hope to possibly one day meet up with @seven_dg, Xants, @gringodaygame, @YuriODaygame, FSU Daygame and @LeeChoDaygame if we are in the same Eastern European country.

Someone said it’s important to share your age so others can compare and evaluate one’s results better. I understand that point, but I don’t think sharing my age will help that much relative to my other goal for this blog, which was/is to provide an example of what the daygame journey is and figuring out a repeatable process for learning it, regardless of age. Speaking of which, I am between 18 and 52, the prime ages to be doing daygame. Anyway, I started this blog because this Daygame thing was starting to work, but there was no real prescription for how to train up in daygame. Krauser’s memoirs (which I have not yet read and I admit I totally judged them by their ridiculously tasteless titles and covers) all struck me as more an attempt to model himself after Casanova than being useful for learning. @DaysOfGame_com is reading them now, and is reporting good things, so I probably should read them.

My Most Important Lesson to Share

After 3 years, the most valuable thing I have to say is: if you want to learn daygame, to regularly improve, you need to approach an average of 5 girls per day (150 per month). This is hard to do in Covid times, so consider developing yourself in other ways, like developing a hobby, getting in shape, reading books, and starting side hustle businesses instead and attacking the daygame learning curve later. You’re not going to get much better at 1/day and you’re spamming if you’re approaching 20-30 per day (and probably a super spreader in Covid times). My unsolicited advice, if you must approach, go to grocery stores and talk to girls about their masks or lack thereof. Other minor conclusions I came to on my own: I determined that Europe is, in fact, easier than NYC. I was doing some seriously stupid shit on dates. I declared myself an intermediate daygamer (which I arbitrarily defined for myself as 1 close in 90 approaches regularly for 3 months in a row) which is a silly declarative award that’s entirely in my head. But I earned it by myself, from myself, for myself for getting real results that I am pleased with. I’m sure there are many guys who have better stats than I, but I’m now competitive enough to truly have a chance against other men for the girls I like, and to get the quality I want. To the extent it is competitive, it is now mostly competition with myself, just like running on a track.

On Yield

One formative experience was at one point on Twitter revealing my early stats of approximately 1 close in 500 approaches and having none other than @jimmy_jambone (one of Krauser’s better known associates) and @BodiPUA (one of Krauser’s lesser known associates) pile on and both tell me to quit with varying levels of politeness communicating that perhaps daygame wasn’t for me. I didn’t like to hear that. I dismissed Bodi outright as I didn’t think my journey was going to be as dark as his was rumored to be, and in some sense I was flattered that Jimmy commented, but also chose to ignore his comment, as discouraging as it might have been, because I was making progress after all. I wasn’t putting up huge numbers, but I was getting high quality. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I think I wasted my first year by not approaching enough. Then things picked up when I figured out the right amount of volume and started approaching an average of 5 girls per day.

Some other guy on Twitter selling a daygame book whose name I don’t remember also said I should be getting 1 number in 5 approaches and proceeded to dole out opinions presumably to bolster his authority and sell whatever is in his book. If you know who I’m talking about, ignore that guy, I can’t even remember who he is. I was getting (and continue to get) 1 in 10 pretty consistently. Game is harder for every 5 years of age gap according to Krauser, so maybe I was going for a bigger *yet legal* age gap, or maybe I was hitting on hotter girls (we actually do have 9s walking around in NYC and I approach them sometimes) or maybe girls in New York city just reject men more than anywhere else (a @MrVDaygame theory that has yet to be disproven). If you’re reading this 1 in 10 is fine. 1 in 5 is great. No one is 100% and I also don’t know anyone that is so terrible they get 1 in 100. I’m getting a decent yield so I’m pretty happy, and if your stats are better than mine, good for you, I didn’t ask.

Daygame: Positive Feedback Conditioning

One other comment I want to make after 3 years of this is that the psychological conditioning from positive feedback received during daygame made me a better man. I had done some night game and online game before starting daygame and done OK (I’m neither tall nor short, average looking, was in decent shape, have a career and some job skills, dressed well enough, interesting hobbies) but it was inconsistent. Feedback from girls online and in night game was so variable and the quality was also so variable the message your brain gets is really noisy and doesn’t really help to build your confidence.

Daygame was hard but when it started to work for me, I knew I was going to be OK. For one thing, even girls who weren’t available loved that I approached them and often gave me compliments and thanked me for approaching. That was extremely positive feedback. When I got a number from an 18 year old fashion model (in my 2nd month of doing daygame) I got pretty excited (even though it died quickly after a few text exchanges). When I started to get those numbers and dates of girls that I chose to approach because I found them attractive, it gave me a huge burst of confidence, knowing that I could go out on the street and *eventually* find a girl I wanted to seduce and possibly date. That positive feedback a guy earns from daygame is a strong signal, namely approaching, getting compliments, getting numbers, getting dates and closing is extremely positive psychological feedback and that fuels the psychological growth that makes us more confident. That confidence led me to get into better shape, to dress even better, to make better career choices to improve my lifestyle. The positive feedback loop spirals ever upward. Deeper social and psychological changes happened too: as I improved my game my enforcement of my personal boundaries improved (having choice with women helps develop this), which positively reinforced my frame and my confidence, and that all really helps in dealing with friends, family, business contacts and negotiations, and of course girls.